We've made it a regular habit of being quite open and transparent with anyone who cares to read our blog. If we are struggling, we share struggles. If we are pumped about something then we share what has us pumped. We've tried our best to reveal the deepest and most authentic missionary experience as we live it out.
Today I cannot do that.
I cannot be completely open and clear with you about what has happened to me over the last two days. No matter which angle I take or which objective I choose there is no way to rightly express what I barely understand. I can poke around at some guesses or suggest some thoughts but I cannot in any way open my heart and mind to show you what mysteries I have undergone.
What is it for me to stand before a small rural African church and preach about hope? What do I feel about a bright young pastor introducing every leader in his church with great admonishment of their contributions to the community? How am I to speak about one of the most God-honoring and worshipful church services of my life in a church without electricity or visitor cards or donuts and coffee for those who come early? What do I say about a packed house with standing room only full of parents cheering and shouting for their kids talent show that lasted 2 1/2 hours? How can I possibly be transparent with you about what happened in my heart and soul as I had lunch with a pastor under the mango tree at his farm and listened as he spoke with wisdom and integrity?
How could I let you see what I felt as God used a culture different from mine to change me?
I will not write about these soul changes in a blog entry. I won't ruin the intimacy of God's work in me by blabbering every secret He has whispered into my heart. Instead, I will pray that God continues to use Uganda to mold and make me. I will pray that by His power I might mature and grow into a man who better reflects His glory into the world He loves so much.
|Pastor Gideon and I discussing the sermon|
|Pastor Gideon was an excellent translator|
|Kayunga AGC Church|