I remember it like it was yesterday. The airstrip dotted with twinkling lights. The immediate health inspection from masked nurses and the scramble for 21 pieces of luggage containing everything we currently owned. A very dark parking lot. As we were loading in 2 vans, Uganda greeted us with a power outage. My heart began to race and fear welled up. I couldn’t see anything; only sounds. In a small crowd of people with my husband and children, I felt completely alone. Nathan and our teammates quickly turned their phone lights on and began packing the vehicles. We then made the windy, dark, one-hour trip to our new home. Someone said, “almost there” when the van turned onto a narrow dirt road littered with potholes and my fear grew yet again. My mind raced, “What has God called us to?” As the big iron gate opened I saw unfamiliar things like a guard in a long black raincoat, tall concrete walls surrounding the property and razor wire lining every side. When the van was unloaded our teammates left and Nathan shut the iron door to the house locking it from the inside like some bunker. I was so fearful that night I had our children sleep with Nathan and I.
The first time I went for a jog alone, I was afraid I would get hurt. The first time I was pulled over by a police officer, I was afraid in the uncertainty of the protocol. The first time I was asked to speak at church here, I was afraid of making a fool of myself. The first time Nathan left us to minister in the village, I was afraid he would get hurt. The first time I was invited to a bible study, I was afraid that the women wouldn’t like me.
“Keep moving”. “Do it”. “Press in”. “Die to yourself.” These are the things God begs of me in moments of fear. Isn’t that what Christianity is at it’s core? A call to die to yourself.
There are moments even still that fear rises up in me. But as I look over the last year of my life, I have realized in the dying to self, I have found life and freedom in Him.
|I now enjoy daily morning jogs where I'm often surrounded by giddy children cheering me on.|
|I love exploring this beautiful city.|
|Nathan’s village trips have become so rewarding I can’t wait for him to get back so I can hear the stories.|
My bumbling attempt at Luganda is met with kind smiles and gratitude for making an effort to speak their heart language.
The weekly bible study I attend has been such a warm place of friendship and encouragement.
So, brothers and sisters, what will we do? Will we choose to believe God even when our knees are shaking and our hearts are racing with fear?
Let's live in the fullness and freedom that Christ offers today. Moment by moment. One choice at a time. It's life in Him.