Our oldest daughter Maddix is at Junior Bible Camp this week. Sunday night we sat in a circle on our living room floor, laid our hands on her and prayed for her. Tears flowed freely. Maddix cried about being nervous of the unknown. Sophie cried in anticipation of missing her big sister. I cried because I couldn't fathom my girl being away from home for five days. Although Maddix was scared, with every fiber of her being she wanted to go.
Monday morning I got Maddix settled into her room at camp. We tucked away her nightly notes from daddy, made her bed, hung decorations, and filled up her water bottle. I left her with the biggest smile on her face. She wasn't nervous anymore and giggled endlessly with roommate Stella.
Monday night I cried and cried from missing my girl. I laid in bed and whispered to God, "She is yours, God. She is all Yours," over and over again. I needed to remind myself that she is not mine, she is His. I think I fell asleep whispering those words to Him.
Tuesday morning I woke up wishing Maddix was home. As the day progressed God was so faithful to rebuke me. I saw a picture of the two-hundered kids at camping worshipping. Here I was wishing my daughter was home with me and there she was dancing and singing to her King. I remembered how in February my dad was sitting next to me during a mission emphasis service and our pastor began speaking to parents about how they needed to release their children to the Lord. My dad, knowing we were praying about moving to Uganda, gripped my shoulder. I sat there and shook with tears knowing my dad was blessing my going.
Right now the sky is dark grey. The trees are blowing in the wind. The rain is pouring down heavy. My girl is not here with me. She is likely a little scared and huddled in the camp basement taking shelter. But today, even in the midst of this storm, I wouldn't want her anywhere else. I know she is right where God wants her- curled up in His lap with His other 199 children. I bet He is loving on her like crazy in this storm.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks thinking about all that Maddix is learning this week. I can just see her dancing and twirling and singing to God during their evening worship. I can see her in bed journaling to God telling Him all the things she has learned. I can see her excitedly reading words from her daddy's nightly notes like, "Maddix have you encouraged anyone today?"
Oh God, help me to joyfully release my children to You. Help me to bless their going. I don't want them to miss all that You have for them. I want them to experience life in You to the fullest! Amen.