Everything is changing. I don’t know what to wear on Monday. Eight years ago I got a job at Indiana Wesleyan University with the goal of finishing my degree and building some consistency on my resume. This week I haven’t slept well. I've been jittery and apprehensive. I've been interviewing possible replacements for the job I created here. My job. I've been assisting in the office transition by contributing to email conversations with the subject line “Nathan Metz leaving IWU”. I've stared with wonder at a newly blank desk that was once covered with my responsibilities. Everything is changing.
Sunday night I preached a message about the peace of God and how it is different from the peace we create. When the challenges of life rise over our head we are only comforted by the peace of God, not our peace. To help explain this ‘over your head’ picture I dramatized the act of reluctantly jumping into a pool. When I got to the jump I heard my feet hit the floor with a SLAP and my mouth preached, “He has to catch me because if He doesn't I will sink!” When my ears heard my words I shuddered. “I’m there,” I thought. Obedience is...well...nobody said it was easy.
Friday I am going to willingly walk away from my career and begin a new life in complete reliance on God and His Church to sustain my family. It’s my ‘deep end of the pool’. In my chest I can hear the SLAP as my feet hit the water and my body sinks. I closed my sermon Sunday night by commenting on the joy that comes with the peace of God. With Him we know that the worst this world has to offer is not without His peace and His presence.
I may be driving home with tears at the end of the week but in doing so I will be submersing my soul in the peace of God and the joy of submission.